Emotional Triggers and Psychic Clarity

A few evenings ago I heard a loud scrabbling sound under my kitchen table that sounded like a huge rat. I would like to report that as a shamanic practitioner I tuned into the animal and its message. In reality, I climbed onto my couch, pulled my feet up and yelped for my boyfriend to come deal with it. When he couldn’t find it, I spent some amount of time complaining to my cats of their worthlessness since they were not especially interested in the loud scrabbling sounds.

So here I was, all on my own to deal with the rat threat. As I crouched on my couch, listening to the loud noises and planning how I would protect my bedroom with towels against the door, part of me was witnessing my absurdity. What did I imagine even a very large rat could do? It might run across the floor and I might see it. It is very unlikely that the rat would come out from under the table, chase me through the house and attack me. And, if by some bizarre quirk of fate I had ended up with the only attack rat in the greater Southern California area, and it did chase me down, the odds of dying of a rat bite are not exactly high with access to modern medicine.

But my heart was still pounding, until I realized that the horrible scrabbling sound was actually the speakers on my stereo going bad. Once I unplugged the stereo, no more noises.

I saw how scared I could be of something that was so unlikely to be an actual danger. I used this as a teaching example in my class on helping souls cross over to discuss the unfounded fear of ghosts. But this can also apply to the heart pounding fear of speaking up for yourself, saying what you really want, going out into the world, or being seen. (By the way, Fire Ceremony, as described on the articles page of my website, is a great resource for clearing and releasing these kinds of fears.)

The other thing I saw was how once our emotions are triggered- fear, anger, etc- reasoning ability and psychic perception get shut down. When I’m calm, I can track a sliver of my client’s soul across multiple lifetimes to the other side of the world. Yet, with my fear activated, I couldn’t even tell that there was no life spark under my table. It reminded me how easy it is for a psychically gifted person to perceive hostility, psychic attack or entities where there are none, if such things touch upon their fears. As valuable as it is to develop your psychic and healing abilities, cleaning up your emotional triggers and buttons can serve you better in increasing your psychic clarity.

Destiny in Death Valley

August 2010

I met a destiny path in Death Valley this summer. The first and only other time I had been to Death Valley until this summer was in my mother’s womb, just after I’d been conceived. No doubt my soul was following my future parents in their camping adventures. As their dog ran the pads off his feet, my soul created a future intention with some of the people who long ago had lived on the land. On the day that my human self became aware of it, I felt overwhelmingly tired and spacey. When we stopped by the road so I could ground a bit, my boyfriend channeled, “The child of the stars will meet the people of the sand.” Or perhaps the word was “clay” instead of “sand,” he informed me.

I whipped out my drumming music so I could consult with my guides about the cryptic message. I could feel the power behind the words, but had no idea what they meant. My guides had me step straight out into middle world in Death Valley. There a group of spirits informed me, “You are the one we’ve been waiting for.” They showed me that when they died, there was no one to carry on their legacy and wisdom. So, they stayed in middle world, connected to the land, until my soon to incarnate soul came through and agreed to receive the legacy after I grew up.

As the energy flowed into me, many of the souls who had been the anchor for this energetic legacy began to rise to upper world, reintegrating with their higher selves and completing their soul’s journey. One soul, a leader of the people, became a spirit guide of mine, to help me using this legacy. Over the next three weeks, this energy flowed into me and integrated a little at a time. I found that it wasn’t so much that I needed to do anything particular with it, only that it would provide a deeper resources in my healing and teaching work, honoring the wisdom of those who had come before. Now, when I call in my ancestors and guides, these new beings support me as well.

I was awed and humbled by this experience. It took my breath away for a long time. And I found myself a little reluctant to share it, speaking it only to a few people. While I felt unbelievably honored, I also had some feelings that I wasn’t nearly important enough to receive this energy and I’d sound full of myself or self-aggrandizing if I spoke of it. I noticed I could easily share (as I did in my last newsletter) about crouching in my couch afraid of a hypothetical rat that turned out to be a bad speaker. But somehow sharing this amazing moment in my life felt more vulnerable than sharing a foolish moment.

So, I invite you to look at where you might be hiding your light. With all my shadow work, I’ve become more comfortable being transparent and compassionate with myself when I’m selfish, shallow, or triggered. Yet, brilliant is also part of the picture. I can be a remarkably powerful practitioner and a woman who is freaked out about the possibility of a rat in her house. It’s all part of the territory of being human.

A Guided Shamanic Journey for Balance

October 2010 newsletter

The last six weeks have been a full and emotionally intense time for me. Between the Mercury and Venus retrogrades and assorted other astrological events, the stars certainly reflect this experience. On a more day to day level, it’s looked like a lot of smaller things that add up.

My personal shadow work has been up, self-judgments, worrying what others might think of me. I’ve had some challenging themes from my childhood arise for healing. I’ve mourned the destinies I’ve released in the last months in favor of the ones that are most alive for me.

One of the biggest challenges for me has been experiencing so many of the people I love most in their own intense processes. Perhaps it’s an occupational hazard of hanging out with healing practitioners and lightworkers, but many of the people I’m close to and a lot of people in my general network are going through huge life changes and challenges. Even when it’s good and growthful stuff, it’s not a time that I would describe as easy or peaceful.

So, when I prepared to write my newsletter, I wanted to share something about being extra kind to ourselves and noticing that it might not just be one big thing if you’re struggling right now, but a lot of smaller things.

Instead I decided to offer a fr*ee gift of a guided shamanic journey. The journey I recorded will help you resource yourself with energy from heaven and earth, release old energies and layers, connect with your being and your inner child. The energy I channeled onto the recording is intended to soothe and resource you while promoting deep healing and peace with yourself, all in just over ten minutes. I hope that it helps to ease and support you in your personal journey.

To download the .mp3, visit my website at http://www.handsoverheart.com and click on the “articles” page.

Parrots and the Present Moment

November 2010 Newsletter

As I sit down to write this month’s shamanic message, the wild parrots in my neighborhood are flying by. The setting sun illuminates the vibrant green of their wings and their voices fill the air. On the shamanic path, I pay attention to what comes into my awareness. I noticed that I was tuning out about 30 parrots, flying in front of my picture window, making a remarkably loud racket. I love the parrots and it makes me happy to see them. They only come by at sunset and not all days, so it’s a rare and special experience.

It reminded me of doing a personal vision quest in which I was sitting by the ocean. I had tuned in so strongly to my inner vision that I was unaware of the world around me. I suddenly looked up to see the ocean directly in front of me filled with dozens of dolphins. The message was clear, “Katie, when you’re so wrapped up in your own head, you miss the beauty and blessings right in front of you.”

The last week has been joyful, as a spontaneous trip to Hawaii has come to me. I’ve been delightedly planning, booking and preparing to be ready to leave in early December for ten days. Yet, happy and excited as I am, I notice I’ve felt disconnected from my body and even what’s loudly in front of me. Even for something as joyful as Hawaii in the future or as painful as loved ones who are struggling elsewhere, I don’t want to miss the parrots in the present moment.

One of my teachers commented about awful things that happen to us, such as painful comments or abusive events. He pointed out that the event happened once, yet we inflicted it upon ourselves by reviewing it in our head again and again. With many people close to me going through personal traumas, illnesses and challenges, I notice that my own fears and the fears of others about money, illness, pain, etc, have been very alive. One of the places to seek grounding and consolation in the present moment. Even if five minutes from now life is likely going to suck, or the last five minutes were really hard, if this moment doesn’t suck, meet it as fully as you can and enjoy the relief.

In the last month, my Tonglen practice, as taught by Pema Chodron, has been very alive for me. Breathing into the feelings and breathing out relief for myself and everyone else feeling the same thing is often what’s most available to me to center myself in grace. I recommend Tonglen as a wonderful way to work with this time.

The final piece my guides are asking me to share is giving yourself credit where credit is due. A lot of people have felt tired and this last month included deep shadow work for many. I’ve found my productivity has diminished. Yet I’m navigating a time in which I’m holding space for loved ones, working with some of my own deep woundings, and it’s all happening with grace, although I’ve been more tired than usual. If you’re managing to walk through this time with a degree of grace and compassion for others, give yourself a lot of credit.

For most people, this is not a time of expansive energy of visioning new things, starting new projects or undertaking new goals. It’s much more a dark night of the soul or internal review time. I invite you to trust that your motivation, energy, and enthusiasm for creating new things will return if you honor your soul’s need for downtime and nurturing when it arises.

Building your Wealth Matrix

Dec 2010 newsletter:

Have you read the myth that up to 1/3 of big lottery winners go bankrupt? I did, and when I researched the statement I found it widely accepted and never actually backed up with a reliable study. Yet, it feels true, doesn’t it? The anecdotal evidence is abundant.

Analyzing this from a shamanic perspective, I see this belief and perhaps truth as a manifestation of our energy bodies. Someone who has been struggling with money may not have the energetic structure in place to sustain a much larger amount of money in their lives. So, when the universe hands them what feels like limitless wealth in the form of winning the lottery, they aren’t able to anchor the wealth in the physical world. Having money can be out of synch with their soul experiences and energy matrix. Since our physical circumstances seek to align with our energy body and soul imprints, sometimes a person can manifest great wealth through their passionate desire, then bring their soul and energy body back into alignment with the physical by losing the money.

As I consider ways to improve my own financial picture and those of my clients and students, I look at building an energetic structure that will support wealth. Tracking back along my journey, I can see how my own work in personal growth and healing has created a stronger energy body that allows me to attract and sustain various things I desire, such as a livelihood I love, extensive travel, and rich romantic relationship.

So, how do you build an energy body that allows you not only to manifest easily what you desire, but also to sustain it? For me, this process looks like cleaning out and releasing wounds, stuck energy and pain. The more I clean up my issues around a given area and put attention on it, the more fully my energy field is receptive to whatever I desire. The physical then follows effortlessly.

This intense pathway to change isn’t for the faint of heart. I was in tears a week ago with a friend discussing how much the current feelings sucked. I knew that crying was the biggest investment I could make in tomorrow or the next day being better. Cleaning up deep issues takes a great triumph of human spirit in a day and age when we can almost always find something else to do rather than meet our pain directly. But it isn’t all painful. More often putting my attention on an area yields deep insights and a sense of empowerment and transformation.

So, what will allow you to build an energy matrix to support what you wish to bring into your life? For money, there’s a great book by Barbara Stanny called “Overcoming Underearning ®” that gives tremendous guidance to track places where you’re holding pain or damage around money, allowing you to heal and transform. You can see me; I’m a big fan of shamanic work and love the chance to help people create the kind of strong energy body and destiny path that will see them with improved financial circumstances as well as life experience. Simply doing Qi Gong daily (or some other life force building practice) will strengthen your energy body and help clean out anything that’s limiting your personal matrix.