My Condo and Spiritual Growth (or How Personal Healing Pays Off)

As someone who teaches things like manifestation and personal growth, I’m surprised when I find an area of my life that I’ve closed out those principles in some way.

My tenant just gave notice and I find myself needing to rent my condo again. This is always a scenario that triggers a great deal of irrational fear and stress. Given that I took ten people to Peru and experienced less emotional stress about that trip, I realized it was time to start cleaning up some of my emotional holding.

I have been treating my condo, which was my home for five years, rather badly. Because I’ve had the story that I don’t want the stress of being a landlord, I’ve done everything I could to minimize my interactions with the condo, including renting it out for way under market value.

This time around is that my boyfriend, a skilled electrician (, got all excited and decided to make many upgrades, such as custom lighting, upgraded appliances from Craigslist, ceiling fans and such. For the minimal investment from me of buying the parts, he was willing to take ownership of the project and make my condo an even more beautiful home. My tenant graciously agreed to allow access for the work and even to show it for me so I wouldn’t have to drive over.

It was one of the spiritual principles I teach in action, that of feminine manifestation. By having a desire (in this case for help with the condo) and being still and receptive rather than working hard, the universe can move on your behalf to connect you with the right allies and helpers. Seeing the energies of abundance and unexpected blessing move through the area of my condo, I realized I was drawing lines and pushing away the larger blessing of the condo itself.

I own this piece of property that will likely grow over the years to be worth far more than I paid. Someone else is paying for me to buy it and, if I rent it at market value, it even puts some extra money in my pocket every month. I’ve been telling the story that I don’t want to make my money through being a landlord. But once I take apart my story that being a landlord sucks, it’s a pretty easy way to make money, which feeds my life in many meaningful ways.

This is also a place to heal some of my family of origin stuff. My parents had a lot of stress about renting out their mobile home. People would move out and trash it. Money was tight when I was growing up so I witnessed a lot of stress around this dynamic. But my parents were making different choices about the security deposit that they collected. The reality for me is in the four years I’ve had my condo rented out, I’ve had tenants who took excellent care of it. I realized I’ve been operating from the story that people would ruin it and make my financial picture more stressful, in contradiction to my direct experience.

My other stress was the idea that if something broke, I wouldn’t be able to deal with it. The reality is that sometimes it’s taken some thought to find the best way to address an issue, but, again, I’ve had excellent success finding good people to repair things easily. In point of fact, again and again, I’ve had friends willing to gift me with their time and skill to fix things. My condo is definitely an area that the men in my life show up to support me.

As I write this, I still have the discomfort of the unknown. I need a new tenant by the beginning of March and I don’t yet know who that will be. I prefer closure rather than open ended situations. Yet, as I put my attention on my condo in a warmer way, I find that I have every reason to trust the perfect person will be thrilled to rent it. And going forward, I can see my condo as a wonderful financial investment rather than an emotional vulnerable point. In this case, I will literally make money as a direct result of personal healing when I rent it for what it’s actually worth.

(Note: Ten days after writing this, I signed a lease with my new tenants.   I’m delighted with them.)